I started grieving a long time ago
Always wondered what it would be like if you had to go
Would someone have harmed you or would you go in your sleep
I feared so much what was coming that long before it happened, I wept and wept and wept
That didn’t mean I had lost hope. Lord knows how much I prayed
I hoped for your recovery, more than hoped. I begged.
Sometimes I imagined how happy you would be when this addiction no longer held you
And you’d come to sit with me
Christmas morning would be magic like they were when you were young
Not that you’d believe in Santa but, you’d be there for your son
Birthdays would be celebrated and you’d blow out the candles on your cake
Sunday dinners would be loud as my three looked through the treasure chest
There would be teasing and laughter and as usual, you’d help make a mess
There is a mess right now it’s true but now it lives inside my chest
My dreams and hopes so quickly gone the day I got the news
It’s not like I imagined it, I thought I wouldn’t endure
This circle forever broken because for your addiction; only death could say “no more”


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